Final Thoughts
by Israfel
Summary: These are Jessie's thoughts as she lay on the ground, shot by bullets, right before the plate over Sector 7 was about to fall. I always was rather angry that such a cool character was killed off so early, and decided to take my hand at what she would thnk


1 Final Thoughts  
  
2  
  
3 Written by Israfel  
  
  
  
I remembered when I first saw him. I guess I thought he was some normal guy, although new, coming to get a drink at Tifa's Seventh Heaven. All the new people come here. I guess I thought he was cute...who am I kidding? I'm dying here and I can't even be honest with myself. I really did think he was cute, in a depressed strong-yet-silent sort of way.  
  
Barret came in, and threw everyone out of the bar soon after. He was real good at that, our leader of our little resistance group. AVALANCHE, we called it. 'Cause we were gonna cause an avalanche to come down over Shinra, wiping away the filth of their company from our Midgar when we destroyed them and their mako reactors.  
  
That same speech got me hooked when I was seventeen. I had been born and raised in Midgar, living off this mako infested shit pile of a city. I'd just been recently screwed over by Shinra when they fired me and my dad, saying our skills weren't needed anymore. Then they shoved us into the mud and laughed. For a while I started hacking into their files and screwing up a thing or two there, little things. But then they came to arrest my dad, saying he was the one doing it. He refused to go, and shot one of them. I was so proud.  
  
Imagine the shock I got when several days later the Turks came to kill my father. I had an even bigger shock when I saw who the one who shot him was...it was Reno. Reno, my childhood friend. Reno, the boy who had a worse childhood and was screwed over by Shinra more than me was now working as their mercenary. It made me sick. I told him to kill me now, now before I could become a menace and destroy his beloved company. Because I would. He looked at me on my knees crying, then at the pitiful figure of my deceased father on the ground. Then a dawning of realization passed over his face. He hadn't known...he hadn't known it was us. He leveled the gun at my forehead, pressing the cold metal of the barrel to my skin. I closed my eyes, waiting for the eternal darkness to come. It didn't. The cold feel of metal on skin went away as Reno pulled the gun away from me and holstered it. I opened my eyes and watched him walk away. I guess a little of both of us died away with the death of my father.  
  
He's here right now, you know. Reno. He's the one trying to bring the plate down on Sector 7. We both lost that feeling of every life is important. I realized that individual lives aren't important, that all that matters was saving the majority and getting your ideals through to those in power by might over right.  
  
Reno had another chance to kill me again today. He could have shot me like he did to Wedge up there from the helicopter, but he didn't. Instead the other Shinra goons got me. I wonder why...  
  
Barret had heard of me soon after my father's death. I went on a rampage, making bombs and trying to blow up Shinra facilities. Word spread of me, and soon Barret found me. He spoke of ridding the world of Shinra, or getting rid of the mako reactors which were sucking the planet's energy away. I jumped on board with him, ready and eager to get my revenge on those assholes.  
  
He already had another guy named Biggs helping him out in his group. Biggs and I became friends, although not so good as he and Wedge were later. Drinking buddies...go figure. I wasn't hacking into files like before, stupid minuscule things like that. I was making fake ID's for the trains so we could bust into mako reactors. I made bombs to blow 'em up too. I was doing the dirty work instead of being behind the scenes, and I liked it.  
  
Anyway, I was thinking about Cloud. I got way off topic there. Cloud... When Barret brought him into the meeting, I was surprised. We hadn't had a new member since Jacob, who had died getting us the codes for the North Mako Reactor several days ago. Cloud was a professional mercenary, an Ex- SOLDIER as we found out on our first mission together. I was a little pissed that he was former Shinra, but that didn't matter. His skills were top notch. I developed a crush on that mission, something I hadn't had since I was a little girl.  
  
That night I wrote "Mrs. Jessie Strife" probably a hundred times, like some lovesick schoolgirl. I knew I had no chance at him, what with Tifa running around and those two having some sort of history, but I liked to pretend I had a little chance with him. He always complimented me on my good work, although i could tell it was hard for him to. Maybe he really did like me.  
  
Then I screwed up. On our last mission together I made his ID too different, too special and the alarm rang. It pisses me off that I caused the screw up, and not some damn rookie. To amend myself, I hacked into the Shinra files again and saw that they were planning on dropping the plate on Sector Seven!! Barret, Biggs, Wedge, and I left our hideout immediately to help, but we were almost too late. That's what we're doing now, fighting for our sector, our people, instead of the Planet. Or what we were...  
  
I touch my hand to my stomach as I lie writhing on the floor. Blood. Too much blood. Oh God, I'm going to die. I don't want to die like this. I...I don't want to die! It's too soon, too soon. Do you hear me, you stupid, self serving god?! It's too soon!  
  
I can hear the sounds of a battle above. Fight for us, Cloud. We won't live, I can see it now. Fight for us, Cloud, fight for all of us who will die today. You will live our lives for us from now on.  
  
As I prepare myself for death, my thoughts aren't about my self anymore. They are for Cloud...and Tifa...and Barret...and little Marlene. You are our...future, all of you. Metal clanging on metal. The battle's over. The plate will fall. I squeeze my eyes shut and curl up into ball the best I can. I can hear the sound of it falling down, faster and faster. It will happen soon...  
  
I will be with you soon, my friends.  
  
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Author's Notes: I wrote this when I was in a slightly depressed mood. When I first saw Jessie die in Final Fantasy VII I was rather pissed that such a cool character had been killed off so early in the game, but a year later I decided to write a story of her thoughts when the plate was about to fall. 


End file.
